


Words of Nonsense

by Zena_Xina



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Angst, Crack, Episode Tag, Fluff, General, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Short, Whump, post-season, pre-season, season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zena_Xina/pseuds/Zena_Xina
Summary: A collection of responses to the Bi-Weekly Challenge on the Community Forum on Psychfic.(And, as of April 2020, the Weekly Challenge on the Psychfic Discord!)
Kudos: 11





	1. A Tale of Two Kitties

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, despite doing these challenges since November of 2015, I somehow never posted them here??
> 
> This is a collection of 200-worded responses to the Bi-Weekly Challenge on the Psychfic Community Forum, and, as of April 2020, the Weekly Challenge on the Psychfic Discord!
> 
> Each one is a little different and inspired by whatever the prompt was that week.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Tale of Two Kitties

Shawn pulled his bike up to the McNab household and retrieved the Tupperware from his saddle bag. Francine had asked for it back after the last time she had invited everyone over for dinner and he had taken some leftovers.  
  
"Shawn! Come on in! Would you like something to drink?" Francine said, grabbing the container from Shawn's outstretched arms.  
  
"No thanks. I wasn't planning on staying very long, I have a case to get back to."  
  
"Oh, that's a shame."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Shawn said goodbye and was on his way out when he felt something around his legs.  
  
"What the...?"  
  
Shawn looked down to find two cats with their tales wrapped around him.  
  
He bent down to pet the felines.  
  
"Well hello there little boy cat! Who's your friend here?"  
  
"We've named her Penny right now but we're not sure if she's staying. Rocko just brought her home one day a few weeks ago and they've been inseparable since then. Makes me glad that he was fixed before we got him because then we would have a problem." explained Francine.  
  
Rocko looked up at Shawn and mewed.  
  
"Well, the old boy finally got himself a girl! That's my boy!" Shawn smiled.


	2. The Black and the Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Black and the Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody else know what scene from what show inspired this?

Shawn put his hands up to protect his head as another kick came to his abdomen.

"Years I've had to deal with this guy disrespecting the badge!" Lassiter yelled, kicking out again. He paused for a moment as Shawn whimpered.

"He lives for making a mockery of everything we stand for!" he continued, striking twice in succession.

"Let go!" the detective shouted as the psychic grabbed his leg in a desperate cry for mercy.

Shawn chocked in pain as he struggled to bring air back into his lungs.

"Feel better?" their hostage taker asked, watching the whole scene in silent amusement.

"Absolutely."

"So what's your plan now?" the criminal asked.

"Give my gun back and we can start talking business."

The captor looked at the man on the floor, noticing something in his hands.

"Hey!" he marched forward angrily.

"Now, Spencer!" Lassiter yelled, diving for cover.

Shawn whipped his arms up, aimed the gun, and took the shot.

The criminal fell back, a single hole in the middle of his forehead.

"And that is why you always carry an extra gun." Lassiter quipped.

Shawn rolled his eyes and looked into his shirt at the bruises that were already forming. "Right".


	3. Hiding Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiding Space

"Shawn!" Gus hissed in a low tone. "Don't go in there! Wait for backup!"

"Gus, if we don't go in, he's going to escape!"

Gus reluctantly followed Shawn into the abandoned building, staying in stealth mode.

Shawn stopped suddenly and held his arm out to Gus.

"You hear that?" Shawn whispered.

"I don't hear anything. In fact, I don't think anyone is here!" Gus exclaimed as they snooped around.

"No, I-"

Shawn gasped as he turned around to see their suspect jump out of an unnoticed closet, grabbing Gus into a chokehold and pulling a knife.

"Get back!" he yelled to Shawn.

Shawn slowly put his hands up.

"Hey man, I don't think you want to do this."

"I said GET BACK!"

Shawn looked between the fear on Gus's face and the panic and desperation in the attacker.

He could hear faint sirens but knew they had no time and that he had do something.

Giving Gus a look, Shawn stepped forward and did a roundhouse kick, casting the knife across the room.

Gus twisted and elbowed the assailant, sending him to the floor.

"Dude! That was totally awesome!"

Gus smiled and held out his fist.

"You know that's right!"


	4. Swish, Buzz, Pop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swish, Buzz, Pop

_Swish. Swish. Swish._

"Shawn."

_Swish. Swish. Swish._

"Shawn!"

_Swish. Swish. Swish._

Gus reached out and ripped the soda bottle from his friend's hands.

"Guuuuuuuussss." Shawn whined.

"You're going to shake it up too much!"

Shawn clicked his tongue. "Man, come on! I'm so bored."

"There's only ten more minutes before the fireworks start, just be patient!"

His only response was another click of his tongue. He looked around for something new to keep him preoccupied.

"Buzz!"

Shawn jogged to the officer who was sitting on a blanket with his wife. Gus didn't see him swipe the soda bottle as he got up.

_Swishswishswishswishswish._

"Hey, Shawn! Here to watch the show?"

"Yeah, Jules is supposed to be meeting us soon."

"Cool! Hey. Franny and I are having a little party at our house later, want to meet up there after the fireworks?"

Shawn smiled widely. "Will there be food?"

"Would you expect any less?" Francine smiled back.

"Sweet! I'm going to go tell Gus!"

_Swishswishswishswishswish._

"Hey, buddy! Buzz and Franny invited us-"

_POP._

Gus shrieked as an explosion of fizzy Pineapple Fanta doused him its sticky goodness.

Shawn winced as Gus gave him the deadliest look he could summon.

"Uh... Oops?"


	5. Today's News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear when I sat down to write this it was going in a completely different direction.
> 
> (This is one of my favorite drabbles I've ever written)

Today's news sat bundled neatly on Henry's driveway.

The paper boy had delivered it at 5:43AM but he made no attempt to rescue it.

He already knew what the headline announced.

Today's news was something that no parent should have to read.

It didn't matter in what way the article outlined what happened.

Henry didn't want the paper in his house.

Today's news was slowly passed around the station.

Every cop read it silently.

No one discussed the details.

Today's news had put a damper over the city.

The forecast predicted rain.

But it had already been dark for a day.

Today's news arrived as a notification on Gus's iPad.

He had forgotten the main headline was used as the alert.

Gus threw the tablet against the wall and watched it shatter.

Today's news was a best seller for the company.

Issues were being bought out quicker than they could be restocked.

If it had been a different day they would have been ecstatic.

Today's news landed carefully on a hospital side table.

The nurse said she was in the article.

Juliet never wanted to read another newspaper in her life.

Today's news: Psychic Detective Killed in Police Shoot-Out


	6. Under the Influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under the Influence

  
Knock knock knock.  
  
Henry woke up groggily, unsure of what had woken him.  
  
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.  
  
He silently cursed and stumbled his way to the back door. Who in their right mind-  
  
"Shawn?"  
  
In the doorway stood his son, slumped against the frame, glancing at him with droopy eyes.  
  
"Nooooo... I'm Nwahs..." he slurred as he started to tip forward.  
  
Henry caught his child and immediately smelt the alcohol that engulfed him.  
  
Carefully he dragged and deposited him on the couch.  
  
"Are you drunk Shawn?" Henry asked, though he knew the answer.  
  
"Maaaaybeeeee?"  
  
Henry sighed and sat down in the arm chair.  
  
"What's wrong kid?"  
  
He had only seen his son smashed on rare occasions, usually choosing to only have a few drinks because it impaired his "gift".  
  
After a beat of silence, Henry thought Shawn had passed out. But then he heard a whisper.  
  
"I couldn't save her."  
  
Henry thought back to their most recent case, one that had ended tragically. Shawn was upset at the time, but now....  
  
He knew from personal experience there wasn't much he could say to help tonight.  
  
Henry gently pulled a blanket over the now sleeping man and sighed again.  
  
"Sleep tight kid."  
  



	7. Inspire Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspire Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this turned into an episode tag for "Mr. Yin Presents...".

Her hand reached out and turned a knob, releasing a hot fog that quickly steamed the room.  
  
The water poured onto her skin and rinsed off the sticky residue of sea salt.  
  
All she wanted was to move on.  
  
Move on and forget.  
  
But his words kept haunting her.  
  
"You inspire me."  
  
She had never seen him say anything with such sincerity before.  
  
Had she been too rash?  
  
Had it been from the adrenaline of almost dying?  
  
He had come for her, had saved her life.  
  
Yet she had abandoned him like a dog on the side of the road.  
  
"You inspire me".  
  
But she wanted to inspire more than only him.  
  
Sometimes sacrifices just had to be made.  
  
If she stayed... who knows what could happen next time?  
  
Playing with serial killers was his game, not hers.  
  
She yelped as the water turned icy and ripped her from her thoughts.  
  
Her hand hastily reached out again and turned the knob.  
  
She inspired him? No. Maybe?  
  
He inspired her.  
  
Which was how she knew, as hard as it was, she had made the right choice.  
  
It was time to move on.  
  
Before she could let herself completely fall to him.  
  



	8. All That Glitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All That Glitters

Carlton looked around and shuddered in horror and disgust.  
  
This had to be some kind of sick hell.  
  
That could be the only possible explanation. He had died and gone to hell and this was his torture.  
  
How else could every square inch of his office be coated in a thick layer of gold glitter?  
  
And it wasn't just the thick plastic kind of glitter flakes. It was also the fine, sand-like glitter that clung to everything it touched. His shoes had already been attacked from the two steps he had taken inside before realization had struck.  
  
Walking in it proved slightly difficult as he slipped and slid to his desk.  
  
The only non-glittered item on it was a white card that read "Congrats on 25 years Lassie!" in scribbled sharpie.  
  
Carlton growled lowly. Of course this was Spencer's doing.  
  
When had he even been back in Santa Barbara?  
  
He picked up his phone and dialed an all too familiar number. He sneered as his hand was instantly coated in the devil dust and held it away from his face. He would go up and drag Spencer down from San Francisco himself to clean this up if he had to.


	9. Brick Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brick Wall

Shawn giggled as he tried to keep his vision in focus.  
  
He never realized how close in color blood was to a brick.  
  
Now that his was splattered across the wall of the alley it was difficult to distinguish the colors.  
  
But that could have just been because it was so dark.  
  
Shawn had been knocked around and threatened on cases before, but pulled into an alleyway, slapped, punched, and stabbed? That was a new one.  
  
He probably should have been wary of walking down streets at night by himself after the whole Jack Atwater thing, but that was kind of hard to avoid now that his office was hidden back down one. He had no choice but to walk by a lot of them in San Francisco.  
  
Shawn gasped as the oozing wound in his side suddenly flared up. He was pretty sure he had a concussion but he didn't think that's where the dizzy feeling was coming from. The longer he laid here unnoticed the more likely he was to bleed out, and then he really wouldn't be able to solve the case.  
  
With great effort he pulled his phone from his pocket and speed dialed.  
  
"Gu- Gus?"  
  



	10. Origin Story & It's a Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Origin Story & It's a Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked these prompts together! I've never written one with more than one prompt before so this is interesting. Hope you enjoy mine!

Henry sighed as he pushed the basket with his two-and-a-half-year-old son down an aisle of the grocery store. It was supposed to be a quick trip to get a few things and get Shawn out of the house but now he couldn't remember the last thing his wife had told him. When asked if he needed a list he had declined, because Spencer men didn't need grocery lists... usually.  
  
"What was that last item?" he muttered softly.  
  
He looked down at Shawn who was making noises as he pushed around a toy car.  
  
In a half-joking matter, he asked, "Do you know what I'm forgetting, kid?"  
  
Without looking up Shawn responded, "Can corn".  
  
Correctly reminded, Henry looked at his son in awe. "How did you know that?"  
  
Shawn looked at his dad with slight confusion. "Mommy say, 'Don't fah-get the can corn, H'nry!'"  
  
The father looked at his son in surprise and excitement. He knew it was possible Maddie's memory gift could be passed down to their son, but they hadn't seen any signs of it yet.  
  
Henry smiled as he directed the cart to another aisle. Fluke or not, he couldn't wait to tell his wife about Shawn's incident.  
  



	11. Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boredom

Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Shawn watched his leg as it bounced up and down against the tile of the hospital floor.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
He knew he had to be patient and wait but he was so bored, he had to do something let out his nervous energy.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
All he wanted was to be in there with her right now, but he had been pushed out and forced to wait here.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
He glanced up with hope when he saw a doctor walk in but sighed when they made eye contact with another family.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Shawn checked his phone again in case anyone had returned his calls. It felt weird to be doing this alone.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
The clock's second hand seemed to slow down to an impossible speed now that he was the only one in the room.  
  
Tick. Tick. Tick.  
  
Tick. Tick. Tick.  
  
Everything was going to be so different after today.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap-  
  
The doors opened with a squeak as a smiling nurse came in.  
  
"Congratulations Mr. Spencer, it's a girl!"  
  



	12. Handle With Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handle With Care

"Dad?" Shawn's voice quivered.  
  
"Yeah, kid?"  
  
"Everything's going to be okay, right?"  
  
Henry gulped as he looked his son in the eyes, fear frozen on both their faces.  
  
"Just... keep still Shawn. Help's on the way."  
  
He watched him carefully nod as he took another deep breath that released shakily.  
  
Shawn stared at the box in his hands as he tightened his grip. The bright red 'Handle With Care' label plastered across the side seemed to mock him.  
  
He silently cursed himself for being so stupid. What kind of person picks up a mysterious box at their door while investigating a string of bombings?  
  
It wasn't until he had heard a click and his father's too-late warning that he had realized his mistake.  
  
"Dad?" he called out again. "You need to get away."  
  
"What?" Henry's brow furled. "I'm not leaving you, kid."  
  
"Yes! You are!" he pleaded. "If this goes off before they get here, you're going to get hurt."  
  
"Shawn, I-"  
  
"Dad! Please! Just... get away."  
  
An entire conversation was shared in the brief moment their eyes met.  
  
Reluctantly, Henry nodded and started to step back.  
  
"Okay. I'm backing off. Just... stay still for once in your life, kid."  
  



	13. Surprised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprised

  
"Shawn, what are you-" Juliet giggled as she was led with covered eyes throughout the house.  
  
"Don't peek Jules! You'll ruin the surprise!"  
  
Juliet smiled and rolled her eyes behind the impromptu mask of her husband's hands.  
  
"Almoooost there. Just, a little more to the left, aaaand..."  
  
Shawn lifted his hands and put them on her shoulders. "Open!"  
  
Juliet carefully opened her eyes, knowing to be cautious after some of Shawn's "surprises" in the past, and immediately squealed at the sight.  
  
In a box were two small pug puppies with large red bows tied to their collars.  
  
"Shawn! Oh-my-gosh, they're adorable!"  
  
"This is Sir Bartholomew and Lady Eleanor, the official start to our pug fleet."  
  
Each of them picked an excited pup up. Juliet snuggled hers closely and gave her husband a look. "We are not keeping those names."  
  
Shawn feigned hurt as he held his pup up to his face. "Oh come on, you can't tell me this little fellow doesn't look like a Bartholomew."  
  
Juliet laughed as she examined the pug. "I think that's Lady Eleanor."  
  
Looking down, Shawn's eyes widened. "Sorry, Lady E."  
  
Together they settled on the floor, discussing names for the rest of the night.  
  



	14. Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isolation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sings*: Guess who's back with a brand new prompt getting everybody in the archive going mad!!!
> 
> Haha, but seriously!
> 
> It's a quarantine time prompt challenge special!
> 
> We have a brand new Weekly Challenge going on in the Psychfic Discord!
> 
> Check out the Psychfic Twitter or comment/PM for more details!

Forty three days.  
  
It had been forty three days.  
  
Forty three days since any resemblance of normal life.  
  
Forty three days since everything had gone horribly wrong.  
  
Forty three days since Shawn Spencer had seen another human.  
  
Forty three days since he had joked with Gus.  
  
Forty three days since he had held Jules.  
  
Forty three days since he had teased Lassie.  
  
Forty three days since he had dinner with his dad.  
  
Forty three days since his life had stopped.  
  
Forty three days since everyone else had disappeared without a trace.  
  
Forty three days he had been in total isolation.  
  
Forty three days spent alone did a lot to a man's psyche.  
  
Forty three days felt like an eternity.  
  
Forty three days questioning what had happened.  
  
Forty three days wondering if there was something he had done.  
  
Forty three days finding ways to make everyone come back.  
  
Forty three days contemplating if this was hell or purgatory.  
  
Forty three days asking if it was worth staying here.  
  
Forty three days was all it took to start hearing their voices.  
  
Forty three days later they came back to him.  
  
Forty three days after everyone disappeared, Shawn Spencer was no longer alone.  
  



	15. Lockdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lockdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun to write and I may or may not have a longer version coming out based on this later lol. I originally went waaaay over the limit.

"Listen here Maldonado," Carlton growled, "If you don't-". 

The detective was cut off by a shrill alarm and flashing lights filling the small room. 

Shawn's hands shot to his ears, "What is that?!"

Carlton grimaced and yelled, "We're in lockdown!"

Both men's attention were drawn to the loud banging noises echoing from the prison's hallway.

"I wonder what's-"

Shawn choked as cold metal wrapped around his neck, suffocating him.

"SPENCER!"

Shawn flailed as he panicked and lashed out. He squeezed his eyes shut as his vision started to darken.

Every time he moved, the vice around his neck felt tighter and tighter.

He sensed other hands on him, attempting to free him.

The sound of the alarm was fading quickly as it was replaced by rushing blood. 

Shawn's head swam and his lungs and throat burned.

This was it.

A pop sounded in the distance and suddenly Shawn was falling.

Hands were back. The pressure on his neck disappeared.

Air rushed in in large automatic gulps as his body slowly came out of its own lockdown.

"Shawn?"

Shawn raised a shaky thumbs up and winced at the dead body next to him.

He couldn't wait to get out of here.


	16. The Sound of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sound of Silence

Shawn smiled as he softly closed his bedroom door and found his wife reading a book in bed.

"Hear that?" Shawn asked.

Juliet's brow furled as she listened.

"No?"

"Exactly! That's the beautiful sound of silence Jules!"

Juliet returned his smile, "You got the twins to fall asleep?"

"They're out like a light!" Shawn said as he got comfortable.

"I don't know HOW you manage to get them to bed sometimes. Especially after feeding them all that sugar while I was gone!" 

"Maybe the sugar was all part of my master plan!" 

"Shawn! They were literally bouncing off the walls when I got home. Who told them the house could become a trampoline if they believed hard enough anyways?"

Shawn winced, "They may or may not have watched some hyper vlogger dude on YouTube when I was getting dinner ready."

Juliet was about to respond when her husband suddenly put his finger to his lips. "Shhh."

A beat later, their door creaked open as two small heads popped in. "Daddy... we can't sleep!"

As Shawn scooped his kids up, he caught a knowing smirk from Juliet and rolled his eyes. He wouldn't be hearing the end of this anytime soon.


End file.
